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[sticky post] Friends Only [Jul. 12th, 2012|12:09 pm]


This journal is friends only. Please comment or add me if you want to come inside. x
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Think too slow and drink too fast [Nov. 11th, 2012|10:06 am]
8th day of giving up drinking (again). Here is a list of teetotal celebrities I like to spur me on:

David Bowie, Prince, Zooey Descahnel, Graham Coxon, Frankie Boyle, Gary Olamn, Christina Richie, Sarah Silverman, Richard E Grant, Lena Dunham, Pearl and Daisy Lowe, Sadie Frost, Kelly Osbourne, Mark Owen, Russell Brand, Simon Amstell, Brian Blessed, Jim Carrey, Vincent Gallo, Ewan McGreggor, Simon Pegg, Natalie Portman...Bruse Wayne. Batman doesn't drink!

Also Muhammed Ali, Jim Carrey, Calvin Harris and Zooey Deschanel are all teetotallers with the same birthday as me which is obviously a sign (ahem).

Oh and Adolf Hitler...
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(no subject) [Apr. 13th, 2012|02:08 pm]
I'm going to give Livejournal another go. A proper go this time, one last try...

But it has gone stale and so I have elected to befriend some new people and would like to encourage my existing friends in joining me and writing more often.

The sun is shining, spring is in the air, let's do something!
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2012|04:27 pm]
one of my new year's resolutions was to start a "proper" blog which is suitable for the general public and even real life friends to read. that will live here: rubysurprise.wordpress.com

i don't know what that means for my livejournal but i will keep anyone i'm friends with on twitter (relkatofficial) posted when i, err, post.
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2011|02:42 pm]
i have done this same meme every year for about eight years so here we go:

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
erm, had laser hair removal...that's all i can think of.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i think i did drink slightly less and manage to take less drugs whilst sleeping more and i hope for that to continue in 2012. i want to go out more but to places that don't nccessarily mean i will be tempted to get off my face.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
sadly someone close to me miscarried.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no.

5. What countries did you visit?
italy, rome, i have to admit although the sites were incredible in general i didn't really like the place.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
cock, err, i mean; a boyfriend.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1st may emlyn and jolie's wedding. 3rd july and 31st august saw pulp (the latter was better)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
staying in the same job and house.

9. What was your biggest failure?
drinking too much and missing out on things and days of work as a result.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing that wasn't present before.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a wardrobe, a coffee table and a dustbuster.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
the members of pulp for being so bloody good live after all this time.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
two people at work who made my job more difficult than it had to be. fortunately i have outlived both of them and won't have to worry in the new year.

14. Where did most of your money go?
sadly it was spent on booze and drugs.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
again i'd have to say it was pulp related

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
i'd imagine it's probably something by pulp...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? about the same
b) Bigger or smaller? slghtly smaller
c) Richer or Poorer? richer due to interest on my savings and a reasonable tax rebate in june.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
i wish i'd gone out more but drank less. even just for a walk or a coffee with someone. i feel i was a bit of a hermit in 2011.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
i wish i'd worried less about my health and done more to make it better.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent it in salisbury with my mum and brother as i have done for the past 10 years.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
no, there was no one deserving of my affections.

22. How many one-night stands?
none, i was entirely celibate in 2011 but fine with it as i just didn't meet anyone i found even reotely attractive.

23. What was your favourite TV programme?
breaking bad, it is one of the best shows i have ever seen.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no, just like love i chose to not feel that strongly about anyone.

25. What was the best book you read?
my fault by bill childish was very good. i am currently reading alan partridge's autobiography and splitting my sides every other line.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i got really into scott walker as was pretty inevitable really.

27. What did you want and get?
a tax rebate.

28. What did you want and not get?
new graham coxon-esque boyfriend.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
harold and maude which came out 39 years ago but is better than anything i saw at the cinema.

30. What did you do on your birthday?
went to madame tussauds with my mum on the actual day but other things involving staying up for an entire weekend with my friends the weekend after.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
i'd have liked to have felt more confident within myself and not worried so much about how other people saw me.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
1996 revival (again)

33. What kept you sane?
being able to eventually crawl into my bed.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
it was all about jarvis, even with the advancing years and beard.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
i went on strike on the 30th november so i suppose i was riled enough by the situation to do that.

36. Who did you miss?
my friend jay who moved to hong kong a couple of months ago.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
i met a few nice people but no one who has had a huge impact on my life.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
that ketamine and a neurological condition are not good bedfellows.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"i'm bored, i'm the chairman of the bored" - iggy pop
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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2011|08:03 pm]
i just logged into livejournal with the intention of deleting my account but have stopped myself for now at least. the whole thing has gotten very stale. out of the twenty or so friends i have i think about four of you post regularly with another five or six of you occasionally making a post about how you haven't posted in a while which is something i am guilty of myself. i think of things to write all the time but when i actually sit down to write them i can't remember them and if you're as bored reading those entries as i am writing them then i really should have nipped this thing in the bud a long time ago.

the thing is i don't feel like i can be entirely honest about everything any more and haven't for a few years. it's not 2005 anymore, i'm not 22, i'm more outgoing in many ways but completely withdrawn in many others. i don't feel i can go into great detail about my social life, should avoid talking about my job and can't face writing about my health so what's the point?

so i'm giving myself to the end of the year, if i still feel the same then that's it, bye bye livejournal, thanks for the past decade but it's probably time to move on...
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2011|11:21 am]
i had a quiet weekend in salisbury with added trips to bristol and winchester, two places i spent a lot of my youth. i have much fonder memories of bristol and almost moved there before i picked brighton instead. i went to some excellent parties there between 2005 and 2007 and being from that part of the world anyway it feels like a home from home. winchester is alright but everyone i remember from my time spent drinking in the cathedral grounds at the age of 16 is an absolute twat. they were even back then i just wasn't wise enough to realise.

i got my haircut on friday in my usual salon in salisbury but not by my usual hairdresser so consequently i'm not happy with it. this caused an argument with my brother. it's rare we don't have a bit of a tiff when i see him because he flies off the handle at the smallest thing, apparently he has our father's temper whilst i got his looks. my dad looks like magnum pi which i wouldn't say i did particularly thanks to jolen.

asides from that and some major backache,which i remedied by cracking myself which initially caused even more pain, i had a good weekend. went to the cinema to see tin tin which i knew would be good because it was written by steven mofatt, edgar wright and joe cornish. the fact spielberg directed didn't really some into it. e.t. was a long time ago, have you seen war of the world?

but of course sitting at my desk at work right now it feels like i was never away. thank goodness i am, like, well political and have a day off for the strike on the 30th. before that i have two busy birthday parties (weekenders even) to attend. friday is blurple themed, you know as in blue and purple right, wrong! read the urban dictionary definition. oh dear...
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2011|04:23 pm]
i am about to enter a four day weekend which i have been looking forward to for two months. so tired have i been this week i couldn't even go out last night to see my friend jay off before he moved to hong kong indefinitely. i now regret this as jay is one of the good ones. he's 42 with a previous crack problem and absolutely barking mad but this means he has the best stories which mostly take place in clacton-on-sea which was my childhood summer holiday stomping ground due to having an aunt who lived there. i'll miss talking to him at 8am after a long night out. a replacement will be hard to find.

i'm going to spend my time off as i often do at my mum's in salisbury. i would be happy just to spend it in bed watching series four of breaking bad but i'm a dutiful daughter and perhaps a lie in tomorrow will give me the strength to do otherwise.

we have a new patient at work who has been exposed as a flasher (if you'll pardon the pun). everyone thinks it's hilarious which just goes to show you need a dark sense of humour to work with drug addicts.
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(no subject) [Nov. 2nd, 2011|03:33 pm]
the weeks keep flying by at the moment but all i seem to do is work, come home, eat and watch episode after episode of breaking bad and bored to death which are both excellent examples of amazing american shows which don't get shown over here.

in my last entry i said i was going on the brighton zombie walk dressed as princess diana. here i am doing that:

Photobucket

and in the entry before that i said i hadn't taken a day off for five whole weeks. i made it to six and then promptly destroyed myself by prancing around in a sleeveless dress at said zombie walk and then stayed up all night the night after hence me spending two days in bed last week recovering and battling the effects of PMT. i think a lot of people at work hate me for that but then i think i hate a lot of people at work.

last weekend was a party on friday for heather's birthday where i discovered my friend jay is moving to hong kong to be with his girlfriend who he met at emlyn and jolie's wedding six months ago. i am genuinely sad to be losing someone i am incredibly fond of. that party went on late and as a consequence i fell asleep at one i attended the night after but it was still going when i woke up at 8am so i bought bloody mary ingredients for everyone and joined in until sunday night.

so i didn't feel that great when i got into work on monday but have been feeling somewhat bouyant this week for no particular reason. i have completed my college application and pencilled in a couple of holidays for early next year as well as planned to have a wholesome birthday going to see the ladykillers with my mum. to say i'm looking forward to this total non-event of a year being over is an understatement.
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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2011|03:40 pm]
i have just realised i am t the end of my fifth full week in a row of working. not much of a fete for some/ most people but a big deal for me. i usually have some sort of a holiday booked even if it's a day once a month and am not shy about having a sick day id i fancy a day off. my next schedule time off is for a long weekend from the 11th to the 14th november. can i make it without a break until then?

one would hope i can...

my week has improved somewhat since my omnipresent annoying colleague has been dispatched to hove making her much less present in my working day. i've relaxed a bit and enjoyed some peace and quiet and some serious dunking of biscuits and drinking of lots of tea. monday might come as quite a shock. probably best just to call in sick...
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2011|04:55 pm]
so the weekend, that's something that happened. another relatively quiet one for me involving a visit from my mum. i wasn't really in the mood to be perfectly honest. i arrived home on friday and she had already parked up outside having left salisbury way too early so i didn't get a break between getting back from work and having to entertain her. so we went out for dinner at the setting sun pub where i had one of the best pieces of steak i've ever had, better than the first ever piece of steak i had at goodies in southampton when i first ate steak at the age of 22 after being vegetarian for way too long.

after that we returned home and she helped me put up some flat pack furniture whilst i rearranged the living room which scarlett had kindly ruined by ditching a futon she had removed from her room in the middle of the floor. it wouldn't have driven me quite o nuts had i not obviously spent the entire week before tidying the house for my mum's visit. at least the futon gave me somewhere to sleep although i use the term "sleep" lightly as it was uncomfortable and one of my neighours tarting listening to banging techno at 2 and didn't go to bed until 4.

so saturday i was in an even worse mood nd feeling pretty ratty. the furniture had to be finished and other diy jobs needed to be done. i shouldn't moan as it was really good of her to lend a hand but i just needed more sleep. i cooked us some kedgeree for breakfast and afterwards we went to the laines and to the cinema to see tinker, taylor, soldier, spy which is when i fortunately perked up and an evening watching tv and drinking gin and tonics seemed to help my mood even more.

another early start on sundy to venture down to the marina for the sunday market. i'm not sure if it's an antiques market or a carboot sale or what you'd classify it as but i always enjoy going through people's old shit even if i did just buy a kilt which smelt like the damp lining of a coffin. needless to say i didn't wear it out to lunch for sheli's birthday after my mum had gone. there was a decent turn out of people and we all sat outside. more importantly lou didn't turn up. to find out why i'm pleased about that please see here.

and then it was monday and all i've wanted to do since then i watch blur videos but i've been painting the aforementioned flat pack furniture and getting annoyed with the people i work with. at least i'm not stupidly busy at the moment and hateful girl is going to work in the hove office for the rest of the week. i might not have that coronary after all...
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2011|03:18 pm]
i often (though admittedly not so much these days) use my livejournal as a place to moan about things which are usually work related but right now i feel like i can't really complain because other people seem to be having a much worse time recently. a friend of a friend died of AIDS last week, another miscarried at 12 weeks and someone i know who got married this year is already having serious relationship issues. all in all everyone seems to be going through it at the moment.

2011 has been a better year for me than 2010 but i really do feel like i need to step things up a bit and start appreciating my life a little bit more. i just have no idea where i should even begin.

it was lee' birthday last weekend and as is customary there was a party which spanned the entire weekend and i was in attendance for most of it. at one point i was dressed as superted. lee and i came up with an inspirational dance routine to the theme from s-express which impressed no one but ourselves. it was an exceptionally good weekend.

this weekend will be spent "pottering about". trying not to drink and hoping to keep up with not smoking as i am now on day five without a fag with no plans to buy any for the weekend. i'm going to get into watching breaking bad and go to bexhill on sunday because i have never been due to it being unappealing because of children of men. apparently it's very nice.
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(no subject) [Sep. 12th, 2011|04:43 pm]
i have to admit i am really struggling to update this at the moment which is a shame as currently i am busy doing things worth writing about. ain't that just the way though?

in no particular order i have (since my last entry):

been to my best friend from school's wedding
had my hair cut short and dyed red
touched jarvis' hand (yes, this sounds a bit pathetic) and danced down the front at a pulp gig
went to liverpool which means i have finally visited a big northern city
vowed to give up drinking a smoking, lasted 8 days and fell off the wagon spectacularly
seen my dad and enjoyed his company for the first time i can remember
had a week off work
become further disenchanted with my job
met the first guy in ages who could be a potential suitor
made plans to go to berlin over new year's eve
resumed my addiction to ebay and made some silly purchases
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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2011|03:11 pm]
however did i cope when i was bored all the time, sitting on reception every day at some nhs outpost in the arse-end of hove? because i'm doing that now after volunteering to leap from the frying pan but i certainly haven't landed in the fire. a patch of soggy lettuce maybe? whatever it is it's boring and i'm missing being in the middle of all the drama. fortunately it's just for a while due to the normal receptionist contracting pneumonia (not seriously apparently) so i'm just going to have to treat this as a holiday.

speaking of holidays; i'm off to liverpool the week after next anyway. i could really do with some time off. i have never worked so hard in my life as i have in the past couple of months and i'm really starting to feel the burn. i turned down the opportunity to go to shambala festival this weekend because i'm shattered and i just want to do "nice" things. last weekend i moved the living room around, went to the cinema and baked a cake. this weekend i'm going to paint my bedroom, help lotte move house and go to the cinema twice to see both bill and ted movies and labyrinth on late night showing at the duke of york's.

so since my last entry i've become middle aged, i might just buy a rocking chair. but not slippers. did you know that novelty slippers are the 9th biggest household killer?
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(no subject) [Jun. 30th, 2011|04:11 pm]
last night i came home from another long and arduous day at work to be cheered up by a substantial cheque from the inland revenue. that made everything seem a lot better. i have no idea what to spend it on as i don't really think buying an iphone out of contract is worth it and a large flatscreen tv is useless in a house which inexplicably gets no reception. seriously, we get no reception apart from channel 5 even with a freeview box and the other two are too tight to get sky.

i'll probably be a woman about it and buy a few pairs of shoes, some dresses, a couple of bags and i've had my eye on a dustbuster for a while so i'm definitely going to get one of those. i don't really want for much if i'm honest and if i'm even more honest i'll say i'm tight and will probably squirrel most of it away with what i have set aside for the day when i might like to buy a flat although a significant other would be useful for that.

i forgot to mention i saw one of my previous internet dates crossing the road wide eyed when i walked to work on monday morning. we exchanged hellos and he looked like he'd had a good time. good for him and he was probably the best one but i'm looking for perfection. well, just someone slightly better than him would do. i didn't hate him and i think that's quite a big deal for me considering my past experiences.

i've been spending a lot of time on my own of an evening recently watching series after series of comedy shows i haven't seen before or for ages and teaching myself how to draw again. i haven't done much drawing since i left school, perhaps a bit at uni but nothing significant. so i bought a pad, a box of pencils and a huge rubber and did some doodles and then some funny cartoons and then a self portrait from a photo. they were all crap so i bought a book with exercises in for people who have forgotten how to draw which i obviously have.

so i do that in the place of sitting with my housemates drinking beer of an evening. tonight i'm going out for rhys' girlfriend lauren's birthday to the pub with no name which does exotic meat apparently. i'm holding out for chimpanzee or zebra but i suspect it will be more like wild boar or quail.
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(no subject) [Jun. 10th, 2011|03:44 pm]
unless you subscribe to some bullshit religion then you, like me, firmly believe that you only live once. so to this end i decided to buy a ticket to reading on saturday so i can see pulp (again). it cost almost £95 but the thought of missing any more of their uk gig was almost too much to bare as i'm peeved about not seeing them at the isle of wight festival today. mind you, i would have had to have gone to the isle of wight festival which i have not been keen to do since i went to see bowie there in 2004. i think £95 for one day of a festival is extortionate and i still have a ticket for wireless which alice seems to no longer want but life's too short to worry about that kind of thing when you've waited almost 10 years to see the best band in the world ever live again.

i've had a week of spending actually due to saving some money over the past couple of weeks. i re-bought the tiger and lodger albums i appear to have lost from my youth, a book about cross stitch, a hotel in liverpool from the 30th august to 2nd of september and this rug from urban outfitters:



my liverpool trip will be during the week after pulp at reading which i have booked off as my summer holiday. i have never been to a large northern city and feel i really need to explore the country a bit more as well as trying to visit more foreign lands. after that it's jess' wedding back in wiltshire. i'm off to see her and her fiance, david, after work for what i hope is a reasonable quiet weekend of food, a few drinks and a bit of shoppinf in wimbledon.

one last purchase which i made last night was a documentary called and the beat goes on about music from sheffield (admittedly mostly pulp). i like being a pulp fan at 28 in this day and age. i have money and a whole lot of new ways of spending it on pulp paraphernalia on the internet. i'd have probably died from wanting or turned to prostitution when i was a teenager had i known about all the things relating to jarvis et al i could potentially buy.

(haonowshaokao i can try and rip and upload this and a few other thins you might like if you would be interested, i can imagine it might not be so easy to get hold of this in china...)
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(no subject) [Jun. 9th, 2011|09:58 am]
3/5's through my first full week at work since the middle of april. i seem to be surviving ok after getting a proper rest at the weekend as i has promised myself i would. the funny things drug addicts say and do often help me get through the working day, on tuesday one asked me where he needed to go to register adding "don't worry i'm not on heroin! i'm just on crack!" which was obviously reassuring.

although i'm not on heroin or crack i've come to realise that i probably need to take a leaf out of my client's book and stop doing so many drugs at the weekends. it's not easy because there is always someone who wants to party until 8am on a sunday morning and i am apparently powerless to resist that charm. i say i'm going to do this (drink less and give up smoking) periodically but i think that, at the age of 28, i need to start realising that the posters we have in the waiting room do hold some truth.

however, after just one weekend off i feel fantastic. i've been making my own lunches in the mornings, doing little diy jobs around the house and taken up subversive cross stitch because i feel i need to work on my creative side somewhat. when you realise your main interest is doing drugs with your mates you should probably find yourself a new hobby.

of course there are occasions when i'm going to let my hair down. i wrote the ones i could think of down but there were still quite a few "special" occasions which i won't bore you with here especially as it's longer than i had hoped. needless to say i plan to get battered at the secret garden party but obviously not so much that i impair my enjoyment of blondie who are the main reason i'm going even if does end up being reminiscent of someone's gran shouting at a bus stop.

this post is pretty reminiscent of about eight posts i have made in the past (i think i did the last one just after new year) so i'm going to shut up now and recommend everyone go and watch harold and maude which in essence is a film about a young man who shags an old lady but it's so much more than that. it's funny and it's touching. i'm not doing it any justice so just get hold of a copy and watch it and don't worry; they don't show her tits.

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(no subject) [Jun. 2nd, 2011|04:16 pm]
finally after six weeks of chaos i returned to normal on tuesday when i woke up from a mammoth 30 hours in bed which i worked out i spend 24 of asleep. i must have needed it. i thought i'd be sad to be back at work after so much time off but i'm relishing the opportunity for a bit of routine and stability and time to sort my life out as it seems to have gotten a little out of control recently.

i have my mum and brother visiting this weekend so organising the house was a big priority. fortunately i didn't have to do it alone this time as the others were feeling unsettled after so many weekends away. i don't think i have spent more than five consecutive nights in my own bed since 21st april so it will be nice to do that and not have to spend the whole of this monday evening unpacking and washing all my belongings. the hen do last weekend was really wonderful and started off fairly relaxed as i decided to stay in the cottage we had rented rather than go to alton towers. however, once everyone had returned the partying started and i got very little rest for the rest of the weekend.

after another ridiculously early night on tuesday i spent last night thinking about my health. it has been a while since i did anything positive towards managing my cerebellar ataxia and so i did some research into that. this morning i made a doctor's appointment for after work and bought a pile of supplements from holland & barrett at lunchtime. it would be nice to think some improvement will come from this latest interest in my own wellbeing but being at the mercy of the nhs i wonder if anything will.
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(no subject) [May. 24th, 2011|04:13 pm]
well it really has been ages. possibly the longest i have gone between entire in a good couple of years. as i explained a few weeks ago, recently i have been busier at work and socially than perhaps i have ever been in my life. this isn't such a bad thing but it would be nice to be able to sit back and smell the roses once in a while.

during the past couple of weeks i have been on two internet organised dates, both of which proved entirely pointless and once again i have removed my profile and vowed not to bother with it in the future. i was asked out again by both of them but didn't see the point in going if i considered there to be no chemistry or attraction, particularly with one of them who was quite persistent bordering upon stalkerish.

after the wedding i decided to go home for a weekend to see my family. my borther and i went to see richard herring at salisbury art centre. he was doing his christ on a bike show which had attracted a group of christian protesters outside. one asked me if i knew it was a blasphmous show to which i replied that i did and it was the reason why i was there. whilst in salisbury i went to the only hairdresser i trust and got some red streaks dyed in my hair. no one has mentioned republica yet so i think i've gotten away with plagiarising saffron's hair.

the weekend after that was my now annual trip to bangface at camber sands. odd it has become something i attend yearly and look forward to seeing as the music isn't my cup of tea at all. i just like spending the weekend in a chalet with my friends taking drugs. sorry if that sounds a bit crass.

that might explain why i felt like shutting myself indoors for the best part of the last weekend. may being a five weekend month i was financially and possibly emotionally crippled. i felt so antisocial at lotte's birthday barbecue i had to leave after half an hour for fear that i might punch someone.i feel better now and am looking forward to another weekend away for lois' hen do. we're staying in a cottage near alton towers. actually, i am neither staying in the cottage itself or going to the theme park because i am a proper big girl's blouse when it comes to rides and i am fortunate enough to be able to sleep in this:

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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2011|04:54 pm]
Photobucket

it sure does miss (mrs) laverne and that's where i will be this weekend not doing miaow miaow. that's so 2009!
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